December 31, 2009

What's Coming in 2010

In an effort to improve the prediction technology used here at Craigorian Chant, I was reviewing previous predictions posts, all of which can be accessed with this handy label. I think this one from last year holds up very well:

The Obama administration will do four things to annoy the crap out of me, and will do 15 things that just tickle me pink.

Too bad this one didn't:

I will miss the comic stylings of Sarah Palin, especial in these hard economic times.

How can I miss her if she never leaves!

I was strangely certain at the start of 2006 that Phil Angelides was going to become Governor of California in 2006, but otherwise my 2006 election prediction remains my best to date.

So what's next?

Avatar wins every special effect, sound, and technical Oscar available. They will even create new awards to give it. Screenplay? Not so much.

I will get a new job. Or become homeless. Could go either way at this point.

The Obama Administration will continue to tickle and annoy in the same ratio as in 2009.

Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice Futures. Invest now. You heard it here first.

The 2010 mid-terms elections are going to be largely a wash. Hundreds of millions spent, millions of words written, and the Congress is going to look pretty much the same, before and after.

Jerry Brown is going to become Governor. Again. Oh boy.

David Simon is going to have a new show. I'm going to be looking forward to it.

Very good public policy will continue to die a slow death in the Senate.

I will continue to get conservative bullshit e-mails forwarded to me, and I will try to not respond. I won't be able to help myself.

We will leave Iraq. It will be so anti-climatic you won't even believe it happened.

My apartment is getting clean. Today. It will not stay that way.

We will stay in Afghanistan. That's going to get dramatic.

Finally pushed to far, an aroused and heavily armed citizenry will finally fight back against the tyranny of the SociNaziTerrBama Administration. Hopefully the FBI arrests all three before they hurt anybody.

All Craigorian Chant readers will have a safe and happy New Year.

What do you think is going to happen?

Decade in Review

Economically speaking, it sucked.

December 30, 2009

Things that Make You Go Hmmmmm

I don't mean to alarm anybody but in a poll on the most admired man by Americans, Glenn Beck is tied with THE POPE

Hillary and Barack remains comfortably at the top, but sill, boy, Americans, I just don't know.

Russia to Deflect Asteroid

Sure, the odds of this particulate asteroid hitting the earth so this is kinda a waste of time and money, but this how awesome Russia is going to feel when they do this. They totally kicked that asteroid's ass. So much better than say, invading a neighboring Country, which is something that Russia is always a threat to do.

I'm a big advocate of space exploration. The benefits are many, but one is that it gives you all the excitement and hard-ons of war, without all the death.

December 29, 2009

Good Long Talk

Vice Magazine has a epic interview with David Simon, creator of the The Wire.

Geing Old Doesn't Mean Slowing Down

The 86-year-old governor of a southern Indian state has resigned, after a tape came to light showing him in bed with 3 women.


I mean, sorry about losing your job and all, grandfather, but still...

Well done sir, well done.

December 28, 2009

West Wing Gossip

Your red hot West Wing gossip of the day:

Resident Obama Administration nerd and Director of the Office of Management and Budget Peter Orszag is now engaged to ABC newsbabe Bianna Golodryga.

We now return to our regualy scedualed policy program, "Balacing the Federal Budget in 124 Easy Steps

The Fight Goes On

Fresh wave of protests and crackdowns in Iran. Stay safe people

December 27, 2009

The Science of Avatar

A professor of astrophysics gives his take. Except for the floating mountains, pretty good marks.

December 26, 2009

More Restrictions

It comes like clockwork. Attempt gets foiled and more restrictions get put in place. How long before flying just becomes impossible. At what point do we kill that which we are trying to protect?

December 21, 2009

Avatar Reviewed

First off, lets make this clear Avatar is the best looking thing you will in theaters this decade. Absolutely amazing. From broad scenery porn to the tiniest detail, every single bit of this movie is staggeringly good-looking.

As for plot, what you've heard is true. Dances with Wolves IN SPACE. The aliens are the clearest Native American stand-in you've ever seen in Sci-Fi.

I do have some nit-picks. The alien mineral at the root of the movies conflict is called Unobtanium. For real. Dozens of amazing creatures and war machines created down to last detail and they couldn't spend another 10 minuets to come up with a better name that Unobtanium. Its not unobtainable! Obtaining this material is triggering an interstellar war! Get a better name name.

One last point. If, in the future we ever find a race of noble alien savages living atop an incalculably valuable resource, we are going to let them be. You know why? Because we will all have grown up seeing the movie classic Avatar, and we will know better.


We got sixty votes on health care. Sure it was messy, Lieberman made it worse, Nelson made it worse, and the whole proccess make you want to vomite, we are getting close to the end.

December 20, 2009

Time for Holiday Special

The story of Prep & Landing, the elite group of elves who make Christmas possible:

December 19, 2009

How the Wire has Affected my Brain

Posting those best quotes of The Wire has triggered a full blown marathon rewatching. I've made it through seasons 1-3. I'm debating season 4, cause that one always makes me cry. Carver, when he can't help Randy pounding the steering wheel. Gets me every time. But this massive download has started to affect my brain. In particular:

1. I find myself whistling "Farmer in the Dell" whenever I walk down a dark city street at night. I find myself walking down dark city streets a lot more.

2. I catch myself about to say stuff a 32-year old white guy just shouldn't say. Prop Joe's "I'm living with some burdensome niggers" is a personal favorite.

3. When hitting on women, I find myself asking "what would Jimmy McNulty do?" in business situations, I find myself asking "What would Prop Joe do?" Asking yourself "What would Stringer Bell do?" works well for both situations.

4. I now know that a man must have a code. I'm working on my code.

5. When I start my massive criminal empire, I will be known simply as "The German." Of course, I'm not even German.

6. I no longer get dressed. I "make myself correct."

7. The Gods will not save me. I am coming to terms with this.

8. I am not cut out for this gangster bullshit. That, I have come to terms with it.

9. I'm drawing out the i when I say shit. I've attempted to hold entire conversations using only the word fuck. Sadly, I have yet to be in a situation where calling someone a gaping asshole would be appropriate, but I hope to soon.

10. More and more, I'm starting to think that the war on drug is a horrible farce.

December 18, 2009

Your Cathartic Moment

Franken denies Lieberman more speaking time:

Maybe a little petty, but at this point, Lieberman deserves all the petty we can heap on him.

December 17, 2009

Making Lists

and naming "of the year" is a good way to spend the waning days of 2009. Plus, we are closing out the decade so you can also write up "of the decade"

For my money, Salon's Crazy of the Year is well worth reviewing. For my money, the rise of Glenn is the most fascinating and/or scary development of the year, hands down.

December 16, 2009

William F Buckley Really is Dead

They are letting the John Birch Society back into the conservative movement.

More here.

Procedure Sucks

Well done:

To make matters more complicated, the Senate stumbled into health care gridlock after a Republican senator forced the clerk to read aloud a 767-page amendment.

Parliamentary procedures of all kinds, including my own nemesis, Robert's Rules of Order, are intended to allow meeting and decision to be orderly, rational, and fair. When we all have to live with the laws and policy being created, be they by your local school board or the US Senate, there has to be rules for making those laws. Anything else is dictatorship. Maybe a small and petty dictatorship (HOA's!) but still "Got to. This America, man."

But every parliamentary procedure system I've seen runs into the same fatal flaws to one degree or another. Too complex, to easy to manipulate, too dependent on the whims of the officials. Done right, procedure means decisions are timely, democratic, and open. But in the hands of the dumb or the venal you get the reading aloud of a 767 page amendment.

I Take It All Back

Fight Health Care Reform, get a free trip to Hooters!

There are huge amounts of money at stake in the health care debate, and lots of money being made by bad, bad people. People who are willing to spend a lot of money and say just about anything to kill reform and keep their money. A free trip to Hooters is just funny, but is just the edge of the massive resources being brought to bear to kill HCR.

This is hard

December 15, 2009

I Love Italy

So a crazy-man hit Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in the face with a statuettes of Milan's cathedral.

The statuette is now a best seller.

Keys to the Kingdom

Well, it may not be the missing time on the Nixon White House Tapes, but there could be something real there:

The White House has announced a settlement in a lawsuit filed by two good-government groups concerning emails that went missing over a two-and-a-half year period during the Bush administration.

Under the terms of the deal, 94 days of emails -- which could shed light on controversial topics that the Bush administration sought to obscure from public view, such as the Valerie Plame scandal and the run-up to the war in Iraq -- will be transferred to the National Archives, and eventually made public.

Now, the Bush Administration fought long and hard to keep these e-mails from the light of day, including lying about whether the e-mail even existed, so I'm assuming that they contain a bit more than Karl Rove's lunch order. Normally, this stuff would only be useful for the historians, but with Cheney and daughter-of-Cheney running around telling us how to run the Country, know the inside scoop on how they messed it up is pretty usfull.

December 14, 2009

Never a Cop Around

So today I tried to get a fix-it ticket signed off. Seeing as I can't get a cop to come straight to my door unless my neighbor shoots me, I have to go to them. I had to try three different police stations before I actually found one with somebody home. Two stations, the two closest to Craigorian Chant World Headquarters, now have no office hours. None. Clearly this is a budget thing, and hopefully no cops at the station means more cops on the street, but I have to admit, walking up to police stations with no police in them doesn't make one feel very safe.


Would you look at that, Lieberman is doing his best to stop health care reform. Keep in mind that this is a guy who want John McCain to be President, so in the end it's not surprising that in the end, he tries to screw Obama. The sad fact is that in a Senate that needs 60 votes to pass something, Lieberman is the 60th vote. That gives the man tremendous leverage, leverage which he has been using to both make the legislation worse and to block it outright. It really is an unfair world where the health of millions lies in the hands of one old disgruntled Senator, but this is world we have.

December 10, 2009


The United State's first game of the World Cup next year is agaist England. Epic! Here's the story of the last time these teams got it on in the Cup.

Also it looks like Landon Donovan is heading to Everton on loan. This is very exciting news. Everton, official English Premier League Team of Craigorian Chant, has just been wrecked with injuries. Donovan needs top-flight experience, and Everton needs goals. Everton already has the best American Goalie in the world in Tim Howard, so why not add the best American striker.

And just to prove that I am no johnny-come-lately Everton fan, here's a shot of my authentic supporter's scarf, airmailed to me straight from England:

Surreal Moment of the Day

Obama accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, talking of wars.

December 9, 2009

More Greatness from The Wire

All the great lines from The Wire cannot be contained in just one 10-minute YouTube clip. Here's some more:

Not even close to safe for work. You get a lot of things out of The Wire, not the least of which, it will elevate your swearing game.

Just Go Right to the Rebutal

Don't bother to read Sarah Palin piece of crap Op-Ed on climate science today. It's just lies. Not even worth the time it takes to let it load up on your browser.

Just go to this version, which comes with all the lies already refuted. Much more efficient.

December 7, 2009

One Hit

Congratulations to Daniel Powter, whose "Bad Day" has been named One Hit Wonder of the Decade by Billboard Magazine. I always liked this song, despite the overplaying, and the video is just too cute for words.

Things I Never Understood

Why nice, trying-to-be reporter neutral Mara Liasson allows herself to be set up as the "liberal" on FoxNews panels. She sucks at presenting the liberal case, because she thinks of herself as a reporter who doesn't take sides but being on Fox News and being on those panels hurts her credibility as a reporter

So why does she do it?

Making Sausage

When the United States Senate starts making policy, it's hard to watch.

December 4, 2009

Not Brazil, Not Brazil, Not Brazil.

World Cup final draw today. Very important that team USA draw countries that we can beat, and stays out of groups with world powerhouses.

Here's hoping for nice, doable countries, like Denmark or Uruguay. No whammies. Germany or Spain is a whammy.

UPDATE: England! Our old friend. Plus Slovenia and Algeria. England's always tough, but those two we can take.

December 3, 2009

Invest in Piracy!

Other forms of investment may be fraud, so why just invest in outright robbery instead.

A more honest form of crime

December 2, 2009

Conversation of the Day

"Oh great!"


"Now we are going to get weeks and weeks on Tiger Wood's penis and what it's done."

"Really isn't any of our business, is it?"

"Well, he keeps trying to sell me a Buick. I think I should know what his penis has been up to."

Ban Divorce

A real California Prop. Proposed anyway. This state always surprises me. It's time for the "Defense of Marriage" folks to put up. Letting gay folks get married doesn't hurt marriage. In fact, that leads to more marriages! Divorce is what hurts marriage. Without divorce, marriage would be perfectly safe. Make divorce illegal, and everyone stays married.

And happy.