December 31, 2008

Predictions for 2009

1. Rough times will continue. The Magic "Obama Boom" we will look back fondly on in 2022 will not start till 2010.

2. Burned on stocks, real estate, and oil the savvy investor will turn to comic books and tulips as the go-to investments of 2009.

3. The Obama administration will do four things to annoy the crap out of me, and will do 15 things that just tickle me pink.

4. Blago, John Doolittle and Paris Hilton will all go to jail in the coming year.

5. I'm going to get my personal finances in order. It's about time that compound interest work for me for a change.

6. There will be a huge crisis in some country we have never heard of before, but Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will fly in and settle that shit, fast.

7. I will miss the comic stylings of Sarah Palin, especial in these hard economic times.

8. Newt is due to make a big comeback.

9. A horse named Lickity-Split will win the Triple Crown.

10. Peace will not come to the Middle East.

What are your predictions?

Good News/Bad New

Good News: After a lifetime of public service, you have been appointed to the United States Senate.

Bad News: Govenor Blago just appointed you.

December 30, 2008

Highly Recomended

May I present a highly recommended new blog. Dazzling! Sexy! Clever! True!



December 29, 2008

Of Course He is.

Sarah Palin is now a Grandmother.

The babies name is...wait for it...


I'm going to miss Sarah Palin.


Want to see the economy fall apart in real time? The local new car dealership in my hometown shut down just before Christmas. GMAC, which has a world of trouble of its own, called in its loan. No credit, no business. So 60 people lose their jobs, every type of media - paper, radio, TV - in the area takes a huge hit with the loss of the biggest advertiser in the county. Local government takes a big loss in tax revenue and has to lay people off and so on. Now the same thing is happening elsewhere. Now repeat this scene 1,200 times over the next year and you have yourself a very bad economy.

December 22, 2008

Seasons Eatings

I'm not saying it's hard to stay in shape over the holidays, but on my way to the gym tonight I was offered a plate of cookies by a complete stranger. In the parking lot. The gym parking lot.

The universe does not want me in shape.

Even Toyota

Is down. Who bails them out? The Japanese government, right?

December 20, 2008

Most Evil?

The passage of Prop 8 has put about 18,000 couples in legal limbo. These are the folks who got married after the court ruling but before Prop 8 yanked back their right to marry. Guess who's leading the effort to undo these marriages?

Ken Starr

Yes, that Ken Starr

I believe that Mr Starr is making a very strong play for the title of worst. lawyer. ever.

December 18, 2008


In the phrase "The phone is ringing off the hook" does it mean that the phone is ringing so much that its fallen off the hook or that the phone is ringing even though it has already been picked up?

All I want for Christmas

Is a Space Shuttle.

December 17, 2008

Free Money!

The Fed just dropped its prime lending rate to .25%, which is a pretty damn good interest rate if you can get it. I'm at 14% with my credit card, 6.5% with my car and 4.5% with my student loans. Maybe I should get a Fed loan! I would much rather pay .25%! What does it take to become a bank? Can anybody do it? Could the First Mattress Trust qualify?

December 16, 2008

Bad Old Days

Keith Olbermann on Countdown put together a top twenty-five most corrupt American politicians. Man we had some corrupt mo-fos back in the day. The Grant Administration was mind-blowingly terrible. Congressman Andrew Jackson May of Kentucky actually killed at least 38 American soldiers by foisting a bad defense contractor on the US Army during WWII. Boss Tweed was estimated to have stolen something on the order of $3.2 billion in today's dollars.

The popular story is that America was clean and innocent until Watergate took it all away. But we've had corruption and dirty deals from the beginning. The sad truth is, overall, we are a lot more clean than we used to be, Governor Blago, notwithstanding.

December 15, 2008

Nightly Nerdom

New trailer for Wolverine.




The Road Not Taken

Check out the Obama logos that didn't make the cut. Some real disasters were averted.

I mean could you have voted for a guy who used this as a logo:

Oh, how history turns on the subtle turns of graphic design.

December 12, 2008

Old School Hotness RIP

A legendary hottie of the old school, Bettie Page, has died. We here at Craigorian Chant offer a 21 shwing salute in her honor.

I'm Colin Powell, Bitch.

Let's Palin have it.

I think she (Palin) had something of a polarizing effect when she talked about how small town values are good. Well, most of us don’t live in small towns. And I was raised in the South Bronx, and there’s nothing wrong with my value system from the South Bronx.

I love it. Nobody ever talks this way. People have been talking about the wonder that is small town America for about 200 and some odd years now. Bout time somebody speak up for the city, where the vast majority of the people live.

December 11, 2008

Ripples and Lapdances

The bad effects continue to ripple through the economy. Sadly, even strip clubs have had to cut back on both prices and hours.

It's really the strippers who are getting screwed on the deal. Their pay is getting cut in half, just so the club owner can keep butts in seats and sell more watered-down drinks.

The girls need to form a union.


Auto bailout passed the House, looks to get tied up in the Senate, mainly due to the threat of GOP Senators filibustering. Does the GOP really want to take credit for destroying the domestic auto industry? I know the issues with Detroit are many, but after hundreds of billions for banks, cries for fiscal responsibility ring very hollow. Without those loans, these guys are going down, lots of people are losing their jobs in an already bad economy. Does the GOP really want to own that? Kiss Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana goodbye for a generation?

Not to mention you've got Republican Governors running around trying to be Hoover, part 2.

This really can't be what they want, is it?

UPDATE: Yep, the GOP went and done it. Now the White House, a little more aware of the world than the Republican Senators, is scrambling to find another way.

December 10, 2008

TV Time

I just finished the very last episode of The Wire on DVD. Man, there is just no justice in this world sometimes.

Casting about for a new show, may I suggest Leverage? Good old fashion con/heist action, with the added bonus that the targets are the great villains of this age, the corporate crooks.

Plus, the show runner is John Rogers of Kung Fu Monkey. Scroll back through his archives for some pretty cool behind the scene and inside the writer's room stuff.

F- Me, No, Thank You!

I think this is one of the more politically valuable "[Expletive] them" in recent memory.

December 9, 2008


Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, whose been under investigation for years on corruption and has a single digit approval ratings, just got arrested. Among the charges it appear he was trying to sell off the vacant Senate seat formerly held by Mr Obama. The US Attorney on this case is Patrick Fitzgerald, notable for being the guy who got Scooter Libby, before the whole Presidential commutation of sentence thing.

This makes replacing Obama in the senate rather complicated.

December 8, 2008


Blogs might have stopped Hitler.


Last Chance Gone

The Supreme Court has declined to hear a challenge to Obama's citizenship.

Obama will be President.

The football is not going to get pulled away.

This is actually going to happen.

December 7, 2008

Meet Your New SecState

We Lost. Yeah!

The only Democrat I am happy to see beaten this cycle has been beaten. The good voters of Louisiana has tossed William "I have no idea how $90,000 in cash ended up in my freezer" Jefferson out on his ass.

Corrupt little bastards are going down, irregardless of party.

Yeah elections.

December 5, 2008


Behold the latest in horror shows: The Monthly Job Report:

With the economy deteriorating rapidly, the nation’s employers shed 533,000 jobs in November, the 11th consecutive monthly decline, the government reported Friday morning, and the unemployment rate rose to 6.7 percent.
Over all, the job losses since January now total more than 1.9 million, with most coming in the last three months as consumers and businesses cut back sharply in response to the worsening credit crisis.

“Business shut down in November,” said Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody’s “Businesses are in survival mode and are slashing jobs and investment to conserve cash. Unless credit starts flowing again soon, big job losses will continue well into next year.”

The report on Friday by the Bureau of Labor Statistics included sharp upward revisions in job-loss figures for October (to 320,000 from the previously reported 240,000) and for September (to 403,000 from 284,000).


December 4, 2008

December 3, 2008

The War for History

A. Serwer at TAPPED highlights efforts by both the Bush team and Bush himself to shore up his historic legacy. Apparently, there is a Bush legacy project already meeting at the White House, staring all the old favorites, including Karl Rove.

We need a Bush legacy Team B. Something to counter this. Someone to show up on TV ten years from now and remind everyone just how bad the Bush years were. Whenever someone tries to publish a book rewriting history or to rename a school or a courthouse after Bush, they need to be there.

The One that Got Away

Saxby Chambliss has survived a run-off down in Georgia, which means that Dems are going to be short of the 60 vote filibuster-proof majority in the incoming Congress.

Darn. I mean, it's a Senate race in Georgia, but still. Darn.

The last race to be determined is Franken's.

Fingers crossed.

December 2, 2008


There are certain writers that you need for certain jobs. You wouldn't want Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi to write a heartfelt remeberance or striring tribute. Taibbi's calling is pissing on the grave of someone's political career. He does his job very well in this post-scrip on the McCain campaign.

December 1, 2008

Let's Be Clear

If you though times were tough, you're right. The economists have done their dismal science and now figure that we've been in a recession for the last year.

Meet the Team

Obama makes it official today, naming his national security team. The headliner is Hillary as SecState of course but keeping Gates at SecDefense is notable at well. This is a good team. If they all pull in the same direction, this Country should go somewhere.