Oh, you want to know why Newt eh? So many reasons! First of all, he would lose and lose big. Johnson-Goldwater big. A few isolated GOP Congressman still left alive in all the wreckage big. But more importunately, he would lose in a very entertaining manner. Unlike, say, Sam Brownback, who would lose in a grim and humorless dirge of a campaign, Newt would go out like a New Orleans Funeral march. The man is ridiculously grand and foolish. Even his name is high comedy. He wants give homeless people laptops. He wants to unleash the innovative power of government by...defunding the government. He writes alternative history with scenarios like "what if Lee had won at Gettysburg" or "What if we had invaded Iran, Syria and Saudi Arabia after 9/11" He was boffing a member of his staff the same time he impeached President Clinton. His destruction (and that of the GOP along with him) will be happy fun time.
UPDATE: AddieStan makes her case for Newt. She's less optimistic than I, but does point out the great list of Newt scandals, some of which I forgot about. Also, she has a great quote from Newt about creationism, chaos theory and, and... just read it.