The End of the Maradona Show

One of the most entertaining parts of the just concluded World Cup was the Diego Maradona show. The legendary Argentine player made one hell of an dramatically bad coach. The man had a hundred quirks and sub-plots, from wearing two watches to fighting with opposing fans. He also had no idea what he was doing, and managed to take some of the best players in the world and crash out.

Sadly, we will not be seeing a repeat performance in four years. Maradona was tossed as coach of Argentina’s national team. He was offered a new, four-year contract, but apparently his demands were so outrageous, Argentine Football Association vote his ass out.

Well maybe some pro club will hire him. Sure they won't win, but people will watch.

Today's Moment of Zen

 Spanish announcers totally losing it after Spain scores the winning goal.

Price of Prefection

Problems with Jabulani ball caused because it is "too perfect."

This is why I always strive for some small flaw. That's not a typo, that's a small deliberate flaw to prevent problematic perfection.

USA! USA!

Plane Rides of Shame

Gen. Stanley McChrystal flight to the White House.

French National team's flight home.

The French flew coach. Ouch. Not sure how the general is flying.

Free The Minidress 30

Wearing hot orange should not be a crime.

Now With Legos

U.S. - England, recreated with LLegos:

Craigorian Chant Brought to You by Nike

Not because they pay me but because they make epics.

Sign Him

This seems to be the week that I pass out advice to whoever needs it, so here is today's recommendation:

Everton needs to break open the piggy bank and sign Landon Donovan to a long term deal.

Donovan been on loan (noted here) and playing great. He was voted the team's player of the month. Everton is 5-1-1 since Donovan arrived. Before that they were...much, much worse than that. Playing against the top flight of world soccer will only make Donovan better for the upcoming World Cup.

There's now a Facebook Page dedicated to this issue, so now you know its serious.

Soccer!

The United State's first game of the World Cup next year is agaist England. Epic! Here's the story of the last time these teams got it on in the Cup.

Also it looks like Landon Donovan is heading to Everton on loan. This is very exciting news. Everton, official English Premier League Team of Craigorian Chant, has just been wrecked with injuries. Donovan needs top-flight experience, and Everton needs goals. Everton already has the best American Goalie in the world in Tim Howard, so why not add the best American striker.

And just to prove that I am no johnny-come-lately Everton fan, here's a shot of my authentic supporter's scarf, airmailed to me straight from England:

Not Brazil, Not Brazil, Not Brazil.

World Cup final draw today. Very important that team USA draw countries that we can beat, and stays out of groups with world powerhouses.

Here's hoping for nice, doable countries, like Denmark or Uruguay. No whammies. Germany or Spain is a whammy.

UPDATE: England! Our old friend. Plus Slovenia and Algeria. England's always tough, but those two we can take.

Time for Everyone to Hate France Again

Handball!

Today's Moment of Zen

Remember soccer as kid? Bunch-ball! Remember when you could screw up this bad and it be cute?



Via Deadspin.

Afternoon Moment of Zen

Soccer Protest

Even the jocks get in on the action:

It was a simple gesture — green tape wrapped around a wrist — but its symbolism resonated half a world away.

Several players on Iran’s national soccer team wore the green tape on their wrists during a World Cup qualifying match against South Korea on Wednesday, an apparent sign of solidarity with opposition leader Mir Hossain Mousavi.

Protesters at home who accuse the government of rigging Iran’s June 12 election in favor of hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have been wearing green — the color of Mousavi’s campaign — in a show of support for the opposition candidate.

The best part is that Iran State TV, which has been avoiding showing any protests, had to show this, cause soccer is too big a deal in Iran to censor. Soccer Explains the World had a great chapter on soccer in Iran.

Highly Priced Soccer Update

US Government sponsored had an excellent run this year, winning the English Premier League, but coming up short in the Champions League final against Barcelona (Barca! Barca!) Alas, our sponsorship of Man U is coming to an end, as insurance company Aon has signed to be the new kit (uniform) sponsor to replaced the bailed out AIG.

But Man U will not be hurting for money, cause they just sold Cristiano Ronaldo. One of the more interesting aspects of soccer in the rest of the world is transfer fees. Instead of the American sports system, where players are always traded for other players, in soccer teams pay cash money. Man U is getting $131 million, a new record, for Ronaldo, which they will take and spend on other players. And you though the Yankees were bad.

Reward

The Spanish national team, as a reward for winning the European Championships, received their weight in beer.

Wow.

Terrible

If you have a player named Hope Solo then you play her. They benched Solo and now they lost the game. Very simple.

Sweet

I would just like to note that the US Women's National Soccer Team, currently marching inevitably to another World Cup this month, has in goal a person by the name of Hope Solo. This really could be the most awesomely named person ever.

Iraq: Winner!

Iraq won the Asian Cup for the first time ever today.

1-0 (Of Course) over Saudi Arabia.

The team captain Younis Mahmou scored the winning goal on a header in the 71st-minute.

After the game, Mahmoud called for the United States to withdraw its troops from his nation.