Three Years

Tom Delay is going to jail.

My only question is, is he going to white-collar resort prison or to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

Oh Yes He Is!

Tom Delay is going to Jail.

The End of Comedy

Tom Delay drops out of Dancing with the Stars.

Can't Watch

Here's a link to video of Tom Delay on Dancing the Cha-Cha on Dancing with the Stars. I can't actually bear to watch it myself, but feel free to follow the link if you are braver than I.

End Days

Tom DeLay is joining the cast of "Dancing with the Stars."

Too many jokes...head can't hold them...

Answered Prayers

Voltaire said that he had only one prayer: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous."

I give you Tom Delay's magic scheme to have Texas exit the Union.

Thanks God.

Big Baby

Tom Delay bemoans the "The criminalization of politics" which in Delay's world means trying to put Tom Delay in jail for things that Tom Delay has done.

Still Kicking

Looks like we are still going to have Tom Delay to kick around. Delay (R-Hell) marked my birthday by resigning from Congress under a cloud of corruption. However Delay had already won his primary a few months back, so he still had to get off the ballot in November. Well the master plan just hit a snag. A judge just ruled that if Delay withdraws, the GOP can't replace him. Which would leave the Democrat in the race unopposed. So Delay has to keep running for a seat he already resigned from in disgrace. Delay was being too clever with the ballot and it just bit him, you know where.

Gifts

So I wake up and I think "You know what would make a great gift on this, the day of my birth? If a major and particular vile member of the GOP Congress were to resign today."

And what do you know? Tom Delay has officially resigned from Congress after giving a nasty and weird goodbye speech. Happy Day.

So while I'm asking, how about a sports car, a hottie, two tickets to the Bahamas and a hundred grand in cash?

No Sense

I have often made the case that conservatives have sense of irony. Usually this takes the form of being able to argue for months that the fact we haven't captured Saddam Hussein doesn't matter, what really matters is that he is out of power, and then to declare that now that Saddam is captured the insurgency will end and peace will reign in Iraq. Someone with a sense of irony just couldn't pull that off with a strait face.

But today it turns out that not having a sense of irony means that you take an interview done on the Stephen Colbert Report seriously. Tom DeLay's legal defense fund is spreading the word that Robert Greenwald wilted under such tough questions as "Who hates America more, you or Michael Moore?"

Maybe its like a surgical thing. Can you find a sense of irony on a CAT scan and then just have the doctor cut it out?

DeLay is Done

Tom Delay, former Republican House Majority leader, will not run for reelection. He is announcing that he will resign from Congress. For a guy as combative and angry as Delay to give up the fight means that he must be in profound legal trouble. A whole string of Delay staffers have been pleading guilty and agreeing to testify, and as we all know from Law and Order, these things move up the chain, and Tom Delay is at the top. There will be some games to be played in Delay's Texas district, as he has to be replaced on the ballot, Salon has details.

Delay remains defiant. From Time:

Taking defiant swipes at "the left" and the press, he said he feels "liberated" and vowed to pursue an aggressive speaking and organizing campaign aimed at promoting foster care, Republican candidates and a closer connection between religion and government.

His speaking and organizing campaign not going to be very aggressive, because he's going to have to conduct them from prison. I'm sure every Republican candidate in the Nation is now going to pretend that they never new the guy.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it's going to be a good day, I can tell already.

Leadership

The House Republicans picked a new Majority Leader today to replace former leader Tom Delay (R-Evil) After a initial vote where more votes were cast than member were present, things had to be redone. The GOP has settled on John Boehner (R-OH) to lead them. Not sure how to say Boehner's name or what he stands for but I'm guessing I'll hate him and everything he stands for.

Speaking of leadership, my unbridled admiration for Bono continues. He spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast:

Speaking to President Bush and members of Congress at the National Prayer Breakfast, the U2 front man said it's unjust to keep poor people from selling their goods while singing the virtues of the free market, to hold children to ransom for the debts of their grandparents and to withhold medicines that would save lives.

"God will not accept that," he said. "Mine won't. Will yours?"

Bono's speech riveted the ballroom audience that included the president and first lady and leaders from Congress, the Cabinet, the military, the clergy and countries from around the world. At every table, Bono had distributed white plastic bracelets from The ONE Campaign to fight AIDS and poverty, and Sen. Hillary Clinton was among those who wrapped it around her fingers while she listened.

UPDATE: Thanks Slate. We now know that is prononced "Bay-ner." Rhymes with "explainer" Deep down you were kind of hoping it rhymed with "stoner" didn't you?

UPDATE PART 2: I do hate him and everything he stands for.

Old Times

Tantalizing bit of gossip from TPM. Back in 1998 at the height of the Clinton impeachment drama (Remember when sex was the only thing that Presidents did wrong?) Newt Gingrinch was tossed out as speaker of the House after the Republicans lost seats in the 1998. The new GOP leader was going to be one Bob Livingston. But it quickly emerged that Bob had fooled around and beacuse the GOP was in the middle of a sexual witch-hunt, they couldn't have a sinful leader so he dropped out in favor of Dennis Hastert, who is basically Tom Delay's puppet and has remained Speaker of the House to this day. The new bit:

Prosecutors now checking if Abramoff and Scanlon took Livingston down at DeLay's behest.

Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Clausewitz: Pikers, Amateurs, Fools. If turns out to be true Tom Delay will go down as one the great political in-fighters in history. I'm sure going to miss him.

This Week

Sam Alito nomination hearing kick off today so the mother of all Q and A sessions should be starting right...about...now!

GOP Corruption fallout to continue. Tom Delay announced that he wouldn't seek to get his job as Majority Leader back. White House kicking Tom Delay now that he's down can be found here.

Your reading assignment for the week is a really interesting post from Shakespeare's Sister on aristocratic privilege and obligation, Bush and the British Royals.

Smile!

Who the hell smiles for their booking photo? No one smiles for their booking photo. Tom Delay never smiles anyway. It looks like a yearbook photo.

X-Mas Day

Tom Delay, the Republican Majority leader in the House of Representatives has been charged by a Texas grand jury for conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme. He is out as Majority Leader. Happy Day.

Grace

Greeting the news of Terri Shiavo's Death the always classy Tom Delay:

Mrs. Schiavo's death is a moral poverty and a legal tragedy. This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change. The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today. Today we grieve, we pray, and we hope to God this fate never befalls another. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Schindlers and with Terri Schiavo's friends in this time of deep sorrow."

Just who is the Majority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives threatening and with what?