Stimulating

Nice.

Newt Gingrich names a Porn Company ‘Entrepreneur of The Year’ For Stimulating The Economy.

Looks like this is some sort of fundraising bit that went astray. I guess porn is still hanging in there despite the bad economy.

9/11

I say just keep moving.

They Heckle Now

Apparently, the GOP, having had so much fun shouting down people at town halls they figure they can try and do it to the President now. I for one do not want to bring over the "British System" of speech heckling. Heckling is annoying! It favors the loud and the rude over the smart, which gives conservatives an inherent advantage. Take Rep. Joe Wilson here. He was lying! There's nothing in the health care plan to cover illegal immigrants. Personally, I think it should, cause its not like TB will stop and check immigration papers. But it doesn't but the GOP love to demagogue illegal immigration so they lie about it.

Those interesting in the sustance of the speech, go here.

9/9/09

What kind of special magic happens today?

Can't Wait

Tuesday is Indoctrination Day

Read all the horrible things the President has to say to our children.

The conservative position can't just be against everything Obama favors. It leads to some pretty stupid places. Now conservatives are against hard work in school. Obama favors eating right and playing sports. Is the conservative response going to be pro-junk food? Is anti basketball legislation the next GOP priority.

Obama favors breathing. Are you stupid enough to oppose that?

Happy Work Day

Don't Work.

Rock On

Teabaggers V Al Franken

And he disarms them! Using only the power of his mind!

Pat Buchanan: Hilter Appologist

Into the mouth of madness.

Where are His Wife and Kids?

Tom Ridge has rather, um, dramatically reversed himself on the issue of playing politics with the terror alerts.

Best Health Care in the Wolrd

Unless you get sick.

Yikes!

This, apparently, is not some parody or joke. This is the honest-truth cover of Glenn Beck's next book. In which he appears to be dressed as a Nazi.



There really no end to madness with this guy.

Today's Song

Party On

No End to the Horror

Reading Rainbow coming to an end thanks to a ‘shift’ in priorities during the Bush administration.

Bush killed Reading Rainbow! Now I'm pissed!

"Great White Hope"

Well, yeah.

Ted Kennedy, RIP

We are less today than we were yesterday.

He will be missed.

Everything Has a Purpose

Even the humble appendix, long thought to be useless and even dangerous, has a purpose.

So I should be just fine.

Say Anything, As Long as It Hurts

It is as if Joe Lieberman had a chip put in his head, that triggers whenever a tv camera is present, that compels him to say the least helpful thing possible.

Win a Wall

Usain Bolt, the stunningly fast Jamaican won himself a brace of medals at the World Championships this week in Berlin. In addition to all the gold medals the city fathers have given him a section of the Berlin Wall. A three ton section. Do you think that they are keeping whats left of the Wall in a warehouse somewhere, breaking off chunks as needed? Little chunks for souvenirs, big chunks for great honors?

Rock On

Today's Moment of Zen

Fully functional transformer costume.

Rock On

Yep

The Bush Administration did, in fact, play politics with terror alerts. Get me my tin foil hat.

Quick Switch

Here's Jon Stewart, having some fun with Fox News now becoming everything that they denounced back in the Bush years.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Fox News: The New Liberals
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

The truly amazing thing is how quickly and effortlessly these guys switched modes. One day criticising the President is unthinkable, the next day it's required. Should Sarah Palin beat Obama in 2012, every single one of these guys will once again claim that protest is American and to criticise the President in a time of war is treason.

Show How You Do This

Barney Frank shows us how its done.

You do not carefully explain how the health care proposal being offered up is nothing at all like Nazi Germany and gently point out that Obama is not Hitler.

You tell a crazy person that they are crazy.

Kick Em While He's Dead

Robert Novak is dead. Not to speak ill of the dead, but the man was a blight on journalism and a black hole void of all ethics.

Date My Avatar

End Days

Tom DeLay is joining the cast of "Dancing with the Stars."

Too many jokes...head can't hold them...

Yee Hah.

A Country Boy Can Survive

District 9

Kick Ass.

What you want more?

Kick Ass tale of displaced alien refugees, living in a Johannesburg slum, trying to be relocated by a nasty bunch of private military contractors. The whole thing is very South African, which gives the allegory of destitute aliens living among us extra punch.

Sharlto Copley gives a wondrous performance as the bumbling functionary in charge of the effort, like an Afrikaans version of Michael Scott from The Office, as he gets in horrifically over his head.

First time in a long time special effects really got to me. The alien weapons in play here are shocking in their power. When was the last time you were awed by a movie ray gun?

All and all well worth your money

Or like I said:

Kick Ass.

Bash the Base

Of all the people who shouldn't take to pages of the Wall Street Journal to bash health care reform, I'm thinkin the CEO of Whole Foods. The man does know who shops at his store, right?

I myself have only been to Whole Foods the one time, price shock has kept me away ever since. So my own threat of boycott carries little weight.

Take it All

If government is so bad, why not take it all. At least she follows through. I'm sick of conservatives, especially old conservatives who I'm supporting with Social Security and Medicare, lecture on the need to get government out of our lives.

G.I. Joe After Work

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Barbaric Yalp

The town halls have turned into a mass movement into crazy. Here's Gawker with a round-up. For the comic releaf the situation requires, here's Jon Stewart.

Oh, and here comes the militias.

Of Course Its a Lie

Honestly, you can't say the things that you are saying about Obama and also say that we should be polite. If Obama really is the next coming of Hitler and is really setting up "death panels" to kill downs babies and the elderly, then we should riot in the streets, at the very least. But Obama isn't a dictator, the "death panels" are a wild and crazy lie. And the conservatives who say that, know that. But the people they talk to don't

Fight for Your Right

So here's the sad tale of a guy, who is literally fighting health care reform, has no health insurance.

Why is this guy fighting so hard to make the system better? I just don't understand sometimes.

I used to Love that Show

Who didn't?

I Got Debts No Honest Man Can Pay

I always love Bruce best when he's being grim, and this is what I mean:

RIP John Hughes

Sunlight

Job losses were a mere 247,000 in July and the unemployment actaully dropped a little bit. Things still suck, but could this be the turn?

Back Online

Thanks to the friendly neighborhood nerds down at Allocate Tech, I have a working computer again. Normal blogging to resume shortly.

Notes from the Road

I drove across 5 different states and every single one of them had better roads than California.

Sadly, I missed out on my chance at viral video immortality when a Yellowstone buffalo failed to charge a pair of bikers who walked right up and tried to pet it. I was ready with the camera, but the buffalo apparently was just feeling mild that day.

Eastern Utah – Salt. Lots of Salt. And nothing else. Also the area where I came closest to running out of gas. Yikes.

Old Faithful is not actually that faithful. Its eruption schedule is +/- 10 minutes. The rangers are sure to point out that they only predict, they don’t control the geysers.

Never heard the Glenn Beck radio show at any length till now. Man is off his nut.

All of Salt Lake City is laid out on the LDS Temple. The streets are numbered in relation to the temple. 800 South Street is eight blocks south of the temple, 2400 east is 24 blocks east of the temple and so on.

I can still put up a tent in the dark. The old boy scout skills are still with me.

You know when you have to decide something and a little angel and a little devil pop up to tell you to do the right or wrong thing? Well, if you walk into the right bar in Reno you can meet the little devil who leads you astray in person. She’s a brunette.

I-50 through Nevada is quite easily the most desolate piece of highway I have ever been across. About 200 miles in, and with only a crazy preacher-man on the radio, I’ll admit I started talking to myself a little bit.

However, the I-50 run did include a roadside dinner in Eureka, NV where I ate what was easily the greatest hamburger of my entire life. The service was surly, the order took forever to fill, but I’m considering starting my own religious movement centered on that hamburger.

My skill in comforting a crying baby needs work.

A bar in Utah can’t serve alcohol in a container larger that 4.5 ounces, but a “private club” can serve as much as it likes. Therefore, every bar in Salt Lake City is actually a “private club” They sign you up at the door, membership costs a dollar. I’m now the proud member of no less than four “private clubs.” They don’t seem to have very high standards for members.

At a certain spot in Idaho, you can hit scan on the AM dial and hit four stations in a row all of which are broadcasting Rush Limbaugh.

You can’t buy a beer at a county fair in Wyoming. And they call themselves Americans.

Discussion question. You are driving on the open road, which song do you want to hear?

Road Trip

Blogging will continue to be light, but I may check in from the road, internet connection permitting. Stay Cool.

The Most Trusted Name in News

Can you guess who?

Sorry

Sorry for the lack of posting around here. A very nasty bug has sidelined my computer. The damn virus is now blocking the loading of applications, including my anti-virus software! But the Craigorian Chant tech staff is working on it, and I'm seeking alternatives. So stay tuned.

Afternoon Moment of Zen

A Real Crack Up

"Senator Leahy and I were talking during these hearings -- we're going to do that crack cocaine thing you and I have talked about before."

Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala

I’m s Sexist Pig

I’ll change the name to keep this anonymous, but the rest is true.

So I’m writing this letter for work - all business and formal, to reply to a letter that was sent me. And the letter I’m replying to is signed “Joe Blow, Secretary” When I write my reply I address the letter to Ms. Blow. I catch the error when I go back and proofread. I’m a little shocked at myself. Why would I call a guy with the obvious male name of “Joe” a Ms? Oh crap, it was cause his title was “secretary” Somewhere deep in my brain a sexist is lurking. What do I do?

Time for the Nomination Dance

Unless Sonia Sotomayor did something tawdry in her life, and seeing as she's been a rising legal star for most of her life, I doubt it, I figure these hearings are going to be pretty boring.

Watching You

A song for revelations about "Massive Illegal Surveillance"

Presidental Agenda

I'm almost certain that this is not what it looks like. Pictures and sight-lines and depth perception and all that. But what it looks like is pretty damn funny. What really sells it is the French President as wingman.

Infected

Anybody know a good anti-virus software?

Lied to Congress

Well now:

The director of the Central Intelligence Agency, Leon E. Panetta, has told the House Intelligence Committee in closed-door testimony that the C.I.A. concealed “significant actions” from Congress from 2001 until late last month, seven Democratic committee members said.

What was lied about?

They Still Love Her

Republicans, that is.

Fault Lines

Bad thing happen in a bad economy and the economy is bad all over the world. Societies that are already under pressure - politics, ethnic strife, and so on - are going to show the strain most of all. Iran, the coup and protests in Honduras, and now riots in Western China. None of these things are caused by the bad economy, but the downturn does add to the pressure. Keep an eye out for more of this. The economy is everywhere, and fault lines run in a lot of places.

Today's Moment of Zen

Bill has to face the fact that Al Franken is a United States Senator.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

I've been thinking about it a bit, going over all the commentary and I still have no idea why Sarah Palin stepped down. I could see not running again - if she wants to go for the big prize the Presidential super-campaign starts two years out. She would be done in January 2011 and the spin doctors could turn that 4-year term into an epic tale of turn-around, competence, and conservative-principals-in-action. But no one can do anything with barely half a term as governor of the great white north. Palin was laughably unqualified for Vice-President. She just put a cap on her governing experience at 2.5 years. From a political strategery standpoint, this makes no sense at all.

She didn't do this to spend time with her family. Nobody who goes into politics likes to spend that much time with their family. I'm waiting for a scandal to drop, but nothing big seems forthcoming. This dosn't make any sense at all.

Here Comes Trouble

Happy Overthrow the King Day

"There is something exceedingly ridiculous in the composition of monarchy; it first excludes a man from the means of information, yet empowers him to act in cases where the highest judgment is required."

Thomas Paine, Common Sense

What the Hell is She Up To?

Sarah Palin is resigning as Governor of Alaska. Wha?

Who Makes What

White House salary list.

Screwed!

California is in deep, deep trouble. All the choices are bad, and the institutions of California are just not capable of making them.

Al Franke is Free

The last war of 2008 is won.

Last victory dance.

Wooo.

Holy Crap Al Franken is a United States Senator.

White Guys Catch a Break

Finally, they stop being oppressed.

Madoff Sentence

If I went into a bank with a gun and walked out with ten grand, I would get what? Ten years? Twenty? What is the right sentence for a guy who walked off with billions? Do we even have a scale for this sort of thing?

Rock On

No more Michael, time for something that better suits my mood:

Everybody Tribute!

Who's Next?

These things happen in threes you know.

The King is Dead

Let's leave aside the madness and just remember the music, eh?

Your Moment of Zen

Just an Affair

So the whole missing Governor affair turned out to be just that - an affair. Kinda boring, once you think about. I was hoping for secret plastic surgery or some kind of amnesia And lucky us we get to see the mother of all mid-life crisis's play out in news conference form. At least the man had the decency of not bringing his wife along for the soul-bearing. No more lectures on family values from anybody. Ever.

Argentina

So it turns out that the mysteriously missing Governor was not, in fact, "hiking the Appalachian Trail" but rather took a seven-day trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina that no one, not his staff, not his security detail, and not even his wife knew about. this is really kind of weird. Do you know anyone who just takes off for a foreign country for a week and not tell anyone? Do you know anyone who is the boss of something not making arrangements for when they leave? I mean the man is Governor of South Carolina. He didn't tell his staff? The Lt. Governor? Somebody?

I demand an investigation. Maybe a hearing.

Speak English!

But don't spell it.

Case of the Missing Governor

Have you ever just wanted to take off, leave it all behind, and not tell anybody where you're gong?

Well, the Governor of South Carolina just did.

Basiji Hunting

There are certain people in this world who just cry out for a beating. The Basiji are at the top of my list. These are the irregular Iranian paramilitary force. They do the things too thuggist for the regular Iranian security services. They beat unarmed protesters. They beat women and children. They shoot and kill women on the street. There are everything you hate about a street gang and the secret police, rolled up into one.

Behold: Basiji Hunting.

Good hunting, kids, good hunting.

Rock The Casbah

The Clash wrote this when the Ayatollah baned rock music in Iran back in the early 80's. True story.

The Clash - New Music - More Music Videos

Hide Your Bridesmaids.

Good Point

The fact that we stole the election by such a large and unbelievable margine is proof that we didn't steal the election:

Khamenei said the 11 million votes that separated Ahmadinejad from his top opponent, Mousavi, were proof that fraud did not occur. Ahmadinejad watched the sermon from the front row. State television did not show Mousavi in attendance.

"If the difference was 100,000 or 500,000 or 1 million, well, one may say fraud could have happened. But how can one rig 11 million votes?" Khamenei asked during Friday prayers at Tehran University.

At least Florida was close.

Soccer Protest

Even the jocks get in on the action:

It was a simple gesture — green tape wrapped around a wrist — but its symbolism resonated half a world away.

Several players on Iran’s national soccer team wore the green tape on their wrists during a World Cup qualifying match against South Korea on Wednesday, an apparent sign of solidarity with opposition leader Mir Hossain Mousavi.

Protesters at home who accuse the government of rigging Iran’s June 12 election in favor of hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have been wearing green — the color of Mousavi’s campaign — in a show of support for the opposition candidate.

The best part is that Iran State TV, which has been avoiding showing any protests, had to show this, cause soccer is too big a deal in Iran to censor. Soccer Explains the World had a great chapter on soccer in Iran.

Big Talker

North Korea is a small, isolated, starving country. The biggest military threat it poses is that it would lose any conflict with the west and implode in a mass of refugees and chaos. So naturally, it talks big:

North Korea warned Wednesday of a "thousand-fold" military retaliation against the U.S. and its allies if provoked, the latest threat in a drumbeat of rhetoric in defense of its rogue nuclear program.

North Korea would enviably lose any war, but war is bloody mess that all rational non-North Korean countries will avoid at all costs. North Korea needs the threat of war and an escalating crisis cause that's all they got. Lucky for us, we have an Administration that is the essence of calm and thoughtful. Just think about a President McCain, and how he wouldn't be able to resist getting into a dick-measuring contest with Kim Jong-Il. North Korea needs a crisis. Obama shouldn't give him one.

InfoWar

This is the world now. From Wired's Danger Room - denial of service attacks are now part of the fighting:

Pro-democracy activists on the web are asking supporters to use relatively simple hacking tools to flood the regime’s propaganda sites with junk traffic. “NOTE to HACKERS - attack www.farhang.gov.ir - pls try to hack all iran gov wesites [sic]. very difficult for us,” Tweets one activist. The impact of these distributed denial of service (DDOS) attacks isn’t clear. But official online outlets like leader.ir, ahmadinejad.ir, and iribnews.ir are currently inaccessible. “There are calls to use an even more sophisticated tool called BWraep, which seems to exhaust the target website out of bandwidth by creating bogus requests for serving images,” notes Open Society Institute fellow Evgeny Morozov.

This is about the information. Information is key, not bombs. And the side of freedom always has better nerds than the fascists.

Would You Buy This Show?

The original show pitch for the Muppet Show:

Recount!

It will be like Florida 2000, only with real riots:

Iran's supreme leader ordered Monday an investigation into allegations of election fraud, marking a stunning turnaround by the country's most powerful figure and offering hope to opposition forces who have waged street clashes to protest the re-election of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Now is this a real reversal or is the supreme leader just trying to take some pressure off?

I would just like to note that, whatever the outcome of any event in Iran, the usual suspects always have the same answer - no diplomacy and more bombs.

There Something Happening Here

So the Iranian election has gone haywire. What was shaping us as a down-to-wire race between everyone's favorite Anti-Semitic nutball, Ahmadinejad and a reformer challenger has instead been announced to be a landslide Ahmadinejad victory. The opposition is crying foul, and there are riots in streets.

Which means only one thing - it's time to deploy the Buffalo Springfield:

Good Question

I know that we should all make fun of FoxNews for asking the question, but I'm actually interested to know if Obama's quiting smoking will survive the stress of the office. A reformed smoker President, sneaking cigarettes under the stress of the job, is something that pops up a lot in fiction. The West Wing did it, as did Tom Clancy in Executive Orders. Usually the fictional Presidents bum a light off of Secret Service agents or generals in the situation room, always outside the watchful eye of the First Lady.

I can't imagine a tougher job. For some reason, I'm comforted by the though of a sneaky smoke to relieve the stress.

What Do They Know We Don't

Venezuelan bans Coke Zero citing mysterious "dangers to health." I'll admit fizzy sugar water doesn't strike me as being healthy, and fizzy sugar water that contains no calories is both unnatural and weird. I'll admit to never letting Coke Zero pass though my lips, but if Hugo Chavez knows something, I'd like him to share.

Highly Priced Soccer Update

US Government sponsored had an excellent run this year, winning the English Premier League, but coming up short in the Champions League final against Barcelona (Barca! Barca!) Alas, our sponsorship of Man U is coming to an end, as insurance company Aon has signed to be the new kit (uniform) sponsor to replaced the bailed out AIG.

But Man U will not be hurting for money, cause they just sold Cristiano Ronaldo. One of the more interesting aspects of soccer in the rest of the world is transfer fees. Instead of the American sports system, where players are always traded for other players, in soccer teams pay cash money. Man U is getting $131 million, a new record, for Ronaldo, which they will take and spend on other players. And you though the Yankees were bad.

Pirates in Parliament

Pirates continue to spread.

Sweden has a Pirate Party - based on issues of copyright, patent law and file sharing - the party has just won a seat in the European Parliament.

A Gift

Look what the internet brought me for my birthday:

A video of Obama ordering General Odierno, commander of forces in Iraq, to shave Stephen Colbert's Head.

Life is Hard for Pawns

You do not want to be a pawn, no matter what the game. Not dealing drugs and not in power games between countries.

Rock It

Italian Picnic

I'm off to do my duty for Societa Di Unione E Beneficenza Italiana, which means helping run the bocce courts. Everybody have a good weekend.

Outreach

Obama in Cairo

I'm Interested

Not to be totally taken in by a frickin ad campaign, but I've been totally taken in by Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man in the World. See above. Even better are the 15-second spots where He dispenses wisdom. The Most Interesting Man in the World on the two party system: "The after-party is the one you want to go to." On careers: "find the thing in life that you don't do well, and then don't do that thing."

Slate's ad report card has a good write-up. This is not just the simple frathouse beer=sex and guys getting hit in the junk that sells most beer. This is a high level fantasy, a vision of manliness so cool and over-the-top and yes, interesting my normal ad defenses are stripped bare. I want to hang out with this guy. I want to hear the story of the boat and the beauty queens. I want to be this guy. And I'm feeling the urge to go buy a six-pack of Dos Equis.

I'm an Underachiever

Thirty-one years old and running the auto industry.

1. Don't tell my mom.
2. I really do need to step up my game.

So Confused

Cheney supports gay marriage.

If only every conservative jerk was issued a gay daughter, this debate would be so over.

Mindless Violence

Imagine going through life if every single slight, bother or insult resulted in you punching someone in the mouth. Coffee guy got your order wrong - punch him in the mouth! Boss give you a hard time - punch her in the mouth! Now you have a pretty good idea of Bill Kristol's foreign policy.

Violent Retoric = Violence

Targets.