Today's Moment of Zen

Is Kate Beckinsale the Sexiest Woman Alive?

Esquire makes a strong case.

What say you?

Update: ESPN makes a very strong counter-proposal for Gina Carano. Yikes!

Bears Make Bad Pets

I though you knew that.

Next time stick with hamsters.

Live Your Life

Don't know why this is by T.I. featuring Rihanna. It's Rihanna's part that makes you want to hear to it again.

Rock On

Nerd Alert

Hulu now has the complete Robotech:Macross Saga up.

Action/Reaction

After 9/11 they wouldn't let you take anything sharp onto an airline. Sure.

After the shoe bomber got caught you had to take your shoes off for inspection. Ok.

Some terrorist in Britain came up with a fairly half-baked plan to smuggle explosives hidden as household liquids. Now we restrict the size of liquids that you can take on a flight. Ummm, Really?

And now this. Which means the obvious countermeasure is...oh boy.

What Could Go Wrong?

Like most adults I've had very little in way of fights and violence in my life. No, Muay Thai class does not count. But every close call I've had, every heated moment and "wow, dude, i though we were going to have to throw down for a minute" event in my life has come in a bar.

So naturally, such a conflict-filled place is the ideal environment to introduce guns!

Way to go Arizona! Other States just start bar fights. Arizona finishes them. With gunfire.

No More Saturn

Saturn is coming to an end, part of the larger carpocalypse sweeping the nation. I'm getting a bit nostalgic. My 95 Saturn LS2 wasn't my first car, but it was the first car I bought and paid for. The first car I drove that I liked. It was green. It sat four comfortably. At least a few times I slept in it. I don't think it ever attracted the girls, but it didn't scare them off either.

Now its gone, replaced by a Toyota. Which is pretty much the whole world of cars summed up nicely.

Oh Now You Want a Coup

Now we got a right-wing columnist speculating about a military coup to overthrow Obama. Nice.

The piece contains the following classic lines:

America isn't the Third World. If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized.

and

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution...

So how does overthrowing the duly elected President "restore" the Constitution? Is there a hidden clause in Article 2 that says no black guys?

Oh and how is your coup going to be bloodless when the 99.9% of the military that actually take the Constitution seriously arrest or shoot the crazy-people who try and overthrow the President of United States?

We are only eight months in.

Let's All Go to the Mall

to avoid the zombie hoard.

Ever since reading World War Z, I been putting far to much time into my zombie escape and evasion plans. Some nights, it was the only way to get to sleep. That book really freaked me out.

One of the key issues of any effort to escape a zombie uprising is where to go. Do you hold up in your house? Head towards the countryside? Just sit there thinking about it, till you get eaten?

But thanks to SCIENCE, we now know the answer. According to a physics from Università di Parma, a very complex building, such as a mall or school, offers the best bet to evade the zombie threat.

And now you know.

Going Rogue

is the name of Sarah Palin's memoir.

Sarah Palin is publishing a memoir.

Of her life.

Called Going Rogue.

That is all.

Dude, Still not Funny

Prime Minister of Italy Silvio Berlusconi is still making jokes about the Obamas being tanned. It is as if your crazy, vaguely racist Uncle ran a country.

The Right Words for a Wake

Normally, when a conservative of great note or high profile dies, I find myself very strained to come up with anything nice to say at all. Hell, Jerry Falwell has been dead for over two years and I still can't come up with a single nice thing to say.

But I have nice things to say about William Safire.

He was a Nixon guy and the house conservative of the NY Times for decades.

That is not what I liked about him.

What I liked about him was his love of language, words and writing. Alongside the political columns, he had one on words and language. The man could just turn a phrase. Spiro Agnew's "nattering nabobs of negativism" come straight from him. He was, first and foremost, good with words. He gave all of us who strive to be clever with words something to aim at.

So here are Safire's “rules for writers”:

Remember to never split an infinitive. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. Avoid clichés like the plague. And don’t overuse exclamation marks!!

More Time to Blog

Looks like your humble blogger is going to be without a day job. Good news for you readers: more time for posts! I might do three a day now. I am now available for personal appearances as well.

But hey, if any of you out there in blog land have something available or a hot tip, I'm not too proud to beg you for it.

Rock On

I Get Knocked Down

Find!

You know those old guys you see wandering around with metal detectors, looking for "treasure?"

Well, one of them just had the best day in the history of old guys with metal detectors and possibly in the history of metal detectors or old guys.

Huh

So now its ok to drag the Flag through crap. "Stain it with tea" I thought these were the anti-flag desecration types. So its now ok to soil the flag, as long as the right-wingers do it?

Good News

Progress on an HIV vaccine.

Woo.

World Leading Wackness

Muammar Qaddafi, staking his claim for craziest world leader, with a very strong hour and a half UN rant.

Your move Kim Jong. Your move.

Protect Insurance Companies

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Nice

The Constitution is a really great document in a lot of ways. One thing it does well is coral idiotic congressional moves. Its not constitutional to pass a law targeting just one person or entity. So when congress tries to say, target ACORN with a measure, it has to write the law broadly. The law they passed applies to "any organization" that has been charged with breaking federal or state election laws, lobbying disclosure laws, campaign finance laws or filing fraudulent paperwork with any federal or state agency.

Which, as it turns out, stings a whole bunch of defense contractors. In fact, if this thing actually becomes law, it could end the entire defense-industrial complex as we know it. Wouldn't that be something?

Can't Watch

Here's a link to video of Tom Delay on Dancing the Cha-Cha on Dancing with the Stars. I can't actually bear to watch it myself, but feel free to follow the link if you are braver than I.

Today's Moment of Zen

Drunk Yeltsin Wrangling

Stories of the Clinton years.

Wooo!

Dr. Horrible won an Emmy!

Update: The Dr. Horrible segment from last night's ceremony.

What are you Looking for?

The True Story at Last

The Fight Goes On

Fresh round of protests in Iran.

How the Maddness Spreads

I am always fascinated by the concept of memes and looking at how ideas are spread and evolve. So this look by Alexander Zaitchik of Salon at the intellectual origins of Beckism.

Turns out, it can be traced back to one W. Cleon Skousen, a man who was many things, but first a foremost a radical right nutball of the first order. As in declare Dwight Eisenhower to be a communist brand of nutball.

This is where the teabaggers are coming from.

Just Think

At this point in the Bush Administration, 3,000 Americans had been killed by terrorists.

Bring On the Race War

A "wedge issue" was famously described as "dividing the country, and we get the bigger half." Well, there are currently more white people in this Country than other shades of people, so conservatives figure if they can divide the Country on race, and get the white part, they win.

Thus.

and thus.

"Nobody ever wins a fight"

Patrick Swayze RIP.

You can keep the dance and the ghost movie. For me Swayze shall always be remembered for the immortal classic Road House, where he played James Dalton, king of all bouncers. Featuring such immortal lines as the one above, as well as "Pain don't hurt" and "I used to fuck guys like you in prison."

Come Together

In these troubled times of partisanship and strife, at least we can all come together to agree on something:

Kanye West is a dick

Rock It

Stimulating

Nice.

Newt Gingrich names a Porn Company ‘Entrepreneur of The Year’ For Stimulating The Economy.

Looks like this is some sort of fundraising bit that went astray. I guess porn is still hanging in there despite the bad economy.

9/11

I say just keep moving.

They Heckle Now

Apparently, the GOP, having had so much fun shouting down people at town halls they figure they can try and do it to the President now. I for one do not want to bring over the "British System" of speech heckling. Heckling is annoying! It favors the loud and the rude over the smart, which gives conservatives an inherent advantage. Take Rep. Joe Wilson here. He was lying! There's nothing in the health care plan to cover illegal immigrants. Personally, I think it should, cause its not like TB will stop and check immigration papers. But it doesn't but the GOP love to demagogue illegal immigration so they lie about it.

Those interesting in the sustance of the speech, go here.

9/9/09

What kind of special magic happens today?

Can't Wait

Tuesday is Indoctrination Day

Read all the horrible things the President has to say to our children.

The conservative position can't just be against everything Obama favors. It leads to some pretty stupid places. Now conservatives are against hard work in school. Obama favors eating right and playing sports. Is the conservative response going to be pro-junk food? Is anti basketball legislation the next GOP priority.

Obama favors breathing. Are you stupid enough to oppose that?

Happy Work Day

Don't Work.

Rock On

Teabaggers V Al Franken

And he disarms them! Using only the power of his mind!

Pat Buchanan: Hilter Appologist

Into the mouth of madness.

Where are His Wife and Kids?

Tom Ridge has rather, um, dramatically reversed himself on the issue of playing politics with the terror alerts.

Best Health Care in the Wolrd

Unless you get sick.

Yikes!

This, apparently, is not some parody or joke. This is the honest-truth cover of Glenn Beck's next book. In which he appears to be dressed as a Nazi.



There really no end to madness with this guy.

Today's Song

Party On

No End to the Horror

Reading Rainbow coming to an end thanks to a ‘shift’ in priorities during the Bush administration.

Bush killed Reading Rainbow! Now I'm pissed!

"Great White Hope"

Well, yeah.

Ted Kennedy, RIP

We are less today than we were yesterday.

He will be missed.

Everything Has a Purpose

Even the humble appendix, long thought to be useless and even dangerous, has a purpose.

So I should be just fine.

Say Anything, As Long as It Hurts

It is as if Joe Lieberman had a chip put in his head, that triggers whenever a tv camera is present, that compels him to say the least helpful thing possible.

Win a Wall

Usain Bolt, the stunningly fast Jamaican won himself a brace of medals at the World Championships this week in Berlin. In addition to all the gold medals the city fathers have given him a section of the Berlin Wall. A three ton section. Do you think that they are keeping whats left of the Wall in a warehouse somewhere, breaking off chunks as needed? Little chunks for souvenirs, big chunks for great honors?

Rock On

Today's Moment of Zen

Fully functional transformer costume.

Rock On

Yep

The Bush Administration did, in fact, play politics with terror alerts. Get me my tin foil hat.

Quick Switch

Here's Jon Stewart, having some fun with Fox News now becoming everything that they denounced back in the Bush years.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Fox News: The New Liberals
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

The truly amazing thing is how quickly and effortlessly these guys switched modes. One day criticising the President is unthinkable, the next day it's required. Should Sarah Palin beat Obama in 2012, every single one of these guys will once again claim that protest is American and to criticise the President in a time of war is treason.

Show How You Do This

Barney Frank shows us how its done.

You do not carefully explain how the health care proposal being offered up is nothing at all like Nazi Germany and gently point out that Obama is not Hitler.

You tell a crazy person that they are crazy.

Kick Em While He's Dead

Robert Novak is dead. Not to speak ill of the dead, but the man was a blight on journalism and a black hole void of all ethics.

Date My Avatar

End Days

Tom DeLay is joining the cast of "Dancing with the Stars."

Too many jokes...head can't hold them...

Yee Hah.

A Country Boy Can Survive

District 9

Kick Ass.

What you want more?

Kick Ass tale of displaced alien refugees, living in a Johannesburg slum, trying to be relocated by a nasty bunch of private military contractors. The whole thing is very South African, which gives the allegory of destitute aliens living among us extra punch.

Sharlto Copley gives a wondrous performance as the bumbling functionary in charge of the effort, like an Afrikaans version of Michael Scott from The Office, as he gets in horrifically over his head.

First time in a long time special effects really got to me. The alien weapons in play here are shocking in their power. When was the last time you were awed by a movie ray gun?

All and all well worth your money

Or like I said:

Kick Ass.

Bash the Base

Of all the people who shouldn't take to pages of the Wall Street Journal to bash health care reform, I'm thinkin the CEO of Whole Foods. The man does know who shops at his store, right?

I myself have only been to Whole Foods the one time, price shock has kept me away ever since. So my own threat of boycott carries little weight.

Take it All

If government is so bad, why not take it all. At least she follows through. I'm sick of conservatives, especially old conservatives who I'm supporting with Social Security and Medicare, lecture on the need to get government out of our lives.

G.I. Joe After Work

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Barbaric Yalp

The town halls have turned into a mass movement into crazy. Here's Gawker with a round-up. For the comic releaf the situation requires, here's Jon Stewart.

Oh, and here comes the militias.

Of Course Its a Lie

Honestly, you can't say the things that you are saying about Obama and also say that we should be polite. If Obama really is the next coming of Hitler and is really setting up "death panels" to kill downs babies and the elderly, then we should riot in the streets, at the very least. But Obama isn't a dictator, the "death panels" are a wild and crazy lie. And the conservatives who say that, know that. But the people they talk to don't

Fight for Your Right

So here's the sad tale of a guy, who is literally fighting health care reform, has no health insurance.

Why is this guy fighting so hard to make the system better? I just don't understand sometimes.

I used to Love that Show

Who didn't?

I Got Debts No Honest Man Can Pay

I always love Bruce best when he's being grim, and this is what I mean:

RIP John Hughes

Sunlight

Job losses were a mere 247,000 in July and the unemployment actaully dropped a little bit. Things still suck, but could this be the turn?

Back Online

Thanks to the friendly neighborhood nerds down at Allocate Tech, I have a working computer again. Normal blogging to resume shortly.

Notes from the Road

I drove across 5 different states and every single one of them had better roads than California.

Sadly, I missed out on my chance at viral video immortality when a Yellowstone buffalo failed to charge a pair of bikers who walked right up and tried to pet it. I was ready with the camera, but the buffalo apparently was just feeling mild that day.

Eastern Utah – Salt. Lots of Salt. And nothing else. Also the area where I came closest to running out of gas. Yikes.

Old Faithful is not actually that faithful. Its eruption schedule is +/- 10 minutes. The rangers are sure to point out that they only predict, they don’t control the geysers.

Never heard the Glenn Beck radio show at any length till now. Man is off his nut.

All of Salt Lake City is laid out on the LDS Temple. The streets are numbered in relation to the temple. 800 South Street is eight blocks south of the temple, 2400 east is 24 blocks east of the temple and so on.

I can still put up a tent in the dark. The old boy scout skills are still with me.

You know when you have to decide something and a little angel and a little devil pop up to tell you to do the right or wrong thing? Well, if you walk into the right bar in Reno you can meet the little devil who leads you astray in person. She’s a brunette.

I-50 through Nevada is quite easily the most desolate piece of highway I have ever been across. About 200 miles in, and with only a crazy preacher-man on the radio, I’ll admit I started talking to myself a little bit.

However, the I-50 run did include a roadside dinner in Eureka, NV where I ate what was easily the greatest hamburger of my entire life. The service was surly, the order took forever to fill, but I’m considering starting my own religious movement centered on that hamburger.

My skill in comforting a crying baby needs work.

A bar in Utah can’t serve alcohol in a container larger that 4.5 ounces, but a “private club” can serve as much as it likes. Therefore, every bar in Salt Lake City is actually a “private club” They sign you up at the door, membership costs a dollar. I’m now the proud member of no less than four “private clubs.” They don’t seem to have very high standards for members.

At a certain spot in Idaho, you can hit scan on the AM dial and hit four stations in a row all of which are broadcasting Rush Limbaugh.

You can’t buy a beer at a county fair in Wyoming. And they call themselves Americans.

Discussion question. You are driving on the open road, which song do you want to hear?

Road Trip

Blogging will continue to be light, but I may check in from the road, internet connection permitting. Stay Cool.

The Most Trusted Name in News

Can you guess who?

Sorry

Sorry for the lack of posting around here. A very nasty bug has sidelined my computer. The damn virus is now blocking the loading of applications, including my anti-virus software! But the Craigorian Chant tech staff is working on it, and I'm seeking alternatives. So stay tuned.

Afternoon Moment of Zen

A Real Crack Up

"Senator Leahy and I were talking during these hearings -- we're going to do that crack cocaine thing you and I have talked about before."

Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala

I’m s Sexist Pig

I’ll change the name to keep this anonymous, but the rest is true.

So I’m writing this letter for work - all business and formal, to reply to a letter that was sent me. And the letter I’m replying to is signed “Joe Blow, Secretary” When I write my reply I address the letter to Ms. Blow. I catch the error when I go back and proofread. I’m a little shocked at myself. Why would I call a guy with the obvious male name of “Joe” a Ms? Oh crap, it was cause his title was “secretary” Somewhere deep in my brain a sexist is lurking. What do I do?

Time for the Nomination Dance

Unless Sonia Sotomayor did something tawdry in her life, and seeing as she's been a rising legal star for most of her life, I doubt it, I figure these hearings are going to be pretty boring.

Watching You

A song for revelations about "Massive Illegal Surveillance"

Presidental Agenda

I'm almost certain that this is not what it looks like. Pictures and sight-lines and depth perception and all that. But what it looks like is pretty damn funny. What really sells it is the French President as wingman.

Infected

Anybody know a good anti-virus software?

Lied to Congress

Well now:

The director of the Central Intelligence Agency, Leon E. Panetta, has told the House Intelligence Committee in closed-door testimony that the C.I.A. concealed “significant actions” from Congress from 2001 until late last month, seven Democratic committee members said.

What was lied about?

They Still Love Her

Republicans, that is.

Fault Lines

Bad thing happen in a bad economy and the economy is bad all over the world. Societies that are already under pressure - politics, ethnic strife, and so on - are going to show the strain most of all. Iran, the coup and protests in Honduras, and now riots in Western China. None of these things are caused by the bad economy, but the downturn does add to the pressure. Keep an eye out for more of this. The economy is everywhere, and fault lines run in a lot of places.

Today's Moment of Zen

Bill has to face the fact that Al Franken is a United States Senator.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

I've been thinking about it a bit, going over all the commentary and I still have no idea why Sarah Palin stepped down. I could see not running again - if she wants to go for the big prize the Presidential super-campaign starts two years out. She would be done in January 2011 and the spin doctors could turn that 4-year term into an epic tale of turn-around, competence, and conservative-principals-in-action. But no one can do anything with barely half a term as governor of the great white north. Palin was laughably unqualified for Vice-President. She just put a cap on her governing experience at 2.5 years. From a political strategery standpoint, this makes no sense at all.

She didn't do this to spend time with her family. Nobody who goes into politics likes to spend that much time with their family. I'm waiting for a scandal to drop, but nothing big seems forthcoming. This dosn't make any sense at all.

Here Comes Trouble

Happy Overthrow the King Day

"There is something exceedingly ridiculous in the composition of monarchy; it first excludes a man from the means of information, yet empowers him to act in cases where the highest judgment is required."

Thomas Paine, Common Sense

What the Hell is She Up To?

Sarah Palin is resigning as Governor of Alaska. Wha?

Who Makes What

White House salary list.

Screwed!

California is in deep, deep trouble. All the choices are bad, and the institutions of California are just not capable of making them.