Why all Polls are Wrong

I'm going to seriously lose it if I keep looking at horserace polls. By the Donkey Rising round-up Kerry is slightly ahead, tied or being crushed. Most electorial collage tallies have Bush ahead, but I see state polls in there that have George and John within 1 point of each other in both Minnesota and Colorado which both really should be locked up by now Minnesota - Blue, Colorado - Red. The Pew research center had Kerry making up a 13 point lead in one week! Everything is totally screwy. The US electorate is going to more than 100 million people in 2004. I mean the Pew center is filled with very smart people and all but did 13 million people just change their minds in the last week? I can firmly say at this point that all of these polls are wrong. Backing me up in this is Jimmy Breslin of Newsday who has today's must read.

Anybody who believes these national political polls are giving you facts is a gullible fool...

The telephone polls do not include cellular phones. There are almost 169 million cell phones being used in America today - 168,900,019 as of Sept. 15, according to the cell phone institute in Washington.

There is no way to poll cell phone users, so it isn't done...

You do a political poll on land-line phones, you miss those from 18 to 25, and there are figures all over the place that show there are 40 million between the ages of 18 and 29, one in five eligible voters.

And the great page-one presidential polls don't come close to reflecting how these younger voters say they might vote. The majority of them use cell phones and nobody ever asks them anything.

I am the voter he is talking about. I don't have a land line, all I use is my cell phone. Nobody has ever polled me. To correct this oversight I shall conduct the very first Craigorian Chant cell phone poll. I shall randomly call 5 people off of the pre-set numbers on my cell phone...Please wait...

Results
Kerry 80%
Bush 0%
Undecided 20%

There you have it folks. Inevitable Kerry victory. Seriously, I really think that young people with cells are Kerry people and they just are not in these polls.