July 9, 2006


Welcome to At the Movies with Craig. Today's show is on the latest Pirates Movie. The title is Pirates of the Caribbean: We've Come to Steal Your Money and Two and a Half Hours of Your Life that You Will Never Get Back.

I'm sorry its called Dead Man's Chest, but you get the idea. I was a late comer to the first Pirates movie. I was operating on the principal that if movies based on video games always suck, a movie based on an amusement park ride would suck ten-fold. But right in the middle of the action blah, blah, blah of the first movie was this wonderfully manic Johnny Depp performance. His captain Jack Sparrow is a classic. It will be making top ten list for all time.

Well Jack's back in the new movie and still great. The best part is how you can see the gears spinning in his head as he does his dirty deeds. The best parts are when those wheels start grinding and then come completely apart. But he's not the delightful surprise he once was. The romantic leads are physical wonders. My God, Keira Knightley is pretty. My God, how is it that Orlando Bloom is even prettier? But I can't recall a thing they said or did, and it's only been hours since I left the theater.

The action in this movie really is cartoonish. It's practically at the point where Captain Jack won't fall until he looks down. After he runs off a cliff. In a strait line.

Also the movie comes with about three endings, none of them real. The whole movie sets up Pirates of the Caribbean: Arrrgh, Fooled Again.

Ye Be Warned.

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