April 14, 2006

Keeping you Safe From Ninjas

Your Federal Government:

If there's one thing Jeremiah Ransom is sure of, it's that he'll think twice before dressing up like a ninja at the University of Georgia again.

And he can thank agents for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms for that.

On Tuesday, Ransom — a sophomore from Macon, Georgia — was attending a "Pirate vs. Ninja" mixer at the Wesley Foundation, a United Methodist on-campus group, when he got hungry and decided to go grab a bite to eat at the nearby Snelling Dining Hall. The only problem was he was still wearing his homemade ninja costume — a pair of black sweatpants, a T-shirt and a red bandanna tied around his face.

According to university police, around 12:30 p.m., Ransom jogged from the Wesley Foundation to Snelling when a group of ATF agents — on campus to teach a Project Safe Neighborhoods workshop to local law enforcement — decided he was acting in a suspicious manner and sprung into action.

"The agents were on a lunch break, and they noticed Ransom coming through the area dressed in all black and wearing a mask. An agent claimed that he heard sirens in the distance and said that he saw Ransom holding a gun," University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson told MTV News. "They gave chase and ordered him to freeze. And then, with guns drawn, subdued him and began to search for weapons."

But it turns out that the guy only had throwing stars and num-chucks on him and the ATF can only arrest you if have firearms. Or alcohol. If the guy had had some cigars on him, he was going down. But they had to let him go. Seriously, can you blame these agents. I see a Ninja, my first guess would be that he's up to no good. Of course, if Ransom was a real Ninja, the agents would have never seen him in the first place. The ninja art of invisibility. And who knew the Methodist were so cool as to hold a "Ninja vrs Pirates" events. Do you think the ATF would arrest a guy in a pirate outfit?

Who would win a the fight between Pirate and Ninja? I would guess it depends on the terrain. At sea the pirate is clearly going to win, but if its on land, at night, I have to go with the ninja.


Erin said...

Dude, the pirate would win because he'd whip out his musket and shoot the ninja dead, ala Indiana Jones. Of course, if the ninja sneaks up on the pirate in the dead of night and kills him without a by-your-leave, the ninja wins. But it's not very sporting of the ninja.

(And this is from Erin of Denmark, not Erin of SLO, which is all very confusing for me because I have gotten very used to being the only Erin again.)

Laura said...

Okay, but the pirate probably wouldn't even have the chance to pull out the musket, because he wouldn't see the ninja until it was too late. Unless they were at sea and the ninja was seasick or something. But, I think the ninja would win every time.